Looking at one and missing two

I brought home a bunch of baby stuff from my brother and sister in law's house today.
I'm sitting here looking at a car seat.
I can't look at it without thinking about how my house was going to have two of those sitting around waiting for babies instead of just one. So I sit wishing and imagining that there were two car seats side by side instead of just that single car seat sitting there.
Same for the bouncy seat.
And the boxes of boy clothes. Enough clothes for two little boys to share.

I'm surrounded. A normal person would look at all of this baby stuff in excitement and anticipation of the arrival of their baby, but for me, they are painful just to look at. Every item is a reminder of things that I planned and anticipated and was excited for. Every item is a reminder that my boys are not here.